


A Collection of Instances

by smokeandmirrorscloakanddagger



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Canon Divergence - Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Canon Divergence - Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Light Smut, Mild Language, Mild Smut, Oblivious Steve Rogers, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Protective Bucky Barnes, Romance, Steve Rogers Feels, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-11
Updated: 2017-03-26
Packaged: 2018-08-30 09:28:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 10,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8527831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smokeandmirrorscloakanddagger/pseuds/smokeandmirrorscloakanddagger
Summary: Many bad things can sometimes lead you to the only right thing.[A nonlinear collection of instances chronicling one relationship, and the ups and downs it takes.]





	1. My Friend, My Protector

"You're sure?"

"Yes," she whispers, clutching her arms around her torso. "God, yes, I'm sure."

Bucky kneels in front of her, a hand on either of her knees. Tears run freely down her face as her lip trembles, her whole body shaking. He rubs his hands slowly over her thighs, trying his best to calm her. 

"It's-,"

"Steve's," she says, meeting his eyes. 

He pulls her down onto the floor with him, hugging her tight and resigning himself to be her protector, to be the child's protector. His best friend's baby. His heart is already swelling with love for the unborn child, intense protectiveness overcoming him. 

Bucky sighs out a long breath, "Have you told him?"

"No," she wails, throwing her arms around his neck. "He hates me, Bucky. He won't touch me, won't look at me and if he does he looks like he'd rather be doing anything else."

Her breath hitches with sobs and Bucky pulls her tighter against him. "I'm here for you Mary. Until you tell Steve and after that, I'm here. He doesn't hate you and he needs to know."

"I know he needs to know but, he doesn't want to be a father. He'll hate me more." Mary fists her hands in the back of his shirt. "I need time to process. I'll-," she stops as the front door to Mary and Steve's apartment opens.

Steve enters, wearing full Captain America garb, shield still on his arm, and spots Bucky and Mary together on the floor. His hair is messy and fluffy, bruises blooming on his cheekbones, as well as a couple of small cuts. Mary thinks she's never seen anyone or anything so beautiful. His eyes go cold, his face stoic, as he takes in their forms, twined together.

"Stevie-," Bucky starts.

But Steve is already walking away wondering where he went wrong.   


	2. Meeting

Tony Stark did not mean to get bossed around by Pepper Potts. Sometimes shit just happens. So, he had somehow been wrangled into showing the new girl around. She’s peppy and funny and smart and Tony hates to admit that he actually kinda likes her.

She stops to marvel at fucking everything though on their way through the compound to the hangar.

But then they pass by the debrief room which just so happens to be glass and it’s just too perfect not to interrupt Rogers when he’s in the middle of a speech, looking righteous and stoic and patriotic.

Tony laughs and turns to the girl who is admiring the architecture, head tilted back staring at the ceiling, mouth hanging open in awe. Tony had not missed her Captain America t-shirt, white with a depiction of the shield in the center, but also splattered with both motor oil and paint. Her skinny jeans have gotten the same treatment, as well as the messenger bag hanging from her shoulder. Her combat boots are the only pristine thing on her person. Apparently she’s a bit of an artist as well as a mechanical engineer.

“Hey, wanna meet some superheroes, kid?”

“Oh, boy, would I, Mr. Stark!” She exclaims sarcastically.

Tony decides then that he definitely likes her. He only rolls his eyes however. “C’mon then kid.”

He shoves the door open and lets it bounce against the wall, effectively shutting Rogers up and distracting everyone in the room.

“Sorry to interrupt, Cap, but we have a new team member…well are you technically though?” He turns to the girl who is smiling happily in the doorway.

“No, don’t think so.” She bounces on the balls of her feet where she stands, curly dark hair bouncing, pale cheeks flushed. “Just the new plane girl.”     

“Well I don’t know about that. Clearly she’s already biased,” Sam Wilson says, grinning and winking and pointing at her shirt.

She glances down, “Oh this? Pssshhhh, I just wear it to pretend to be impressive. Really Falcon is my favorite,” she says, dropping a wink of her own. Everyone in the room but Sam and Tony are shocked. Sam laughs and decides that he likes her. People were usually more star struck by them and sometimes it’s kind of annoying.

But Steve can’t stop staring at her. He’s vaguely aware that his mouth is hanging open and that Natasha is giggling at him, glancing between him and the girl but she doesn’t even look at him.

“Sweet, nice to meet you guys. I’m happy to help with anything mechanical or technical. Tony’s giving me a fake tour, so we gotta skedaddle.” She gives a happy wave and starts to back away towards Tony who is also enjoying Steve’s completely love-struck expression.

They’re nearly out the door when, “W-wait!”

They stop and turn back and Steve’s throat goes dry as she smiles at him, finally looking at him. “Yeah?” The whole team is ginning and giggling by now and he knows he’s gonna get shit about this for the rest of his life.

But for a second Steve can’t think of anything to say or remember if there even is something he wanted to know or say. “I-I uh, your name! You didn’t tell us your name?”

She smiles gently, looking only at him, “Mary.”


	3. Safety

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Light smut so if you aren't into that...

“Mary,” he moans her name, shoving her back into the wall. She grunts with the impact which turns into a moan as Steve attaches his mouth to her neck, sucking and nipping sharply, marking her up, marking her as his. He brings his hands down to her jean clad thighs, encouraging her to lift her legs up and wrap them around his hips. She does so and immediately rolls her hips against his. He growls and shoves her harder into the wall, forcing her to stop, taking control back.

Steve sinks his teeth into her shoulder nearly hard enough to break skin, the strap of her tank top having slipped down. Mary groans and presses her fingers through his hair tugging on the short, blond strands. “Stevie…” she huffs out his name on a long breath, gentle, artists fingers trailing down from his hair then down his neck in a soft caress. Her tenderness contrasts sharply with Steve’s roughness and he almost immediately loses all steam.

He lets her legs down but cages his arms around her head, leaning forward to capture her mouth in a soft kiss, tasting blood from where he’d bitten her a little too hard earlier. “I can’t lose you, Mare. You’re supposed to be the safe one.”

“I saw them coming Steve. Bucky’s comms were down. What was I supposed to do? Sit on the jet and wait?”

“Yes dammit,” he says. “Bucky can take care of himself. You were just there for tech assistance. You don’t have any training-,”

“And Bucky has trigger words. You know damn well if it was you, you would have done the same thing.”

“It’s different-,”

“It’s not.” She leans up toward him, pressing her hands under his shirt. “Let me help you forget about it, baby.” One hand slips into the waistband of his jeans, stroking him though his boxers. Her other hand goes behind his back, pulling him closer.

“We need to-,” his voice cuts off in a tight groan as her hand dips into his boxers.

“What was that?”

“Stop bein’ so fucking reckless,” he manages to get out before his hands go to work on getting her clothes off.

“ _I’m_ reckless?” She whispers in his ear, tightening her fist around him.

He grunts a little at the grip she has on him. “Fuck, Mare, c’mon.” His hands rip the material of her shirt.

“Stevie! That was-,” she takes her hands away from him as he tries the same thing with her bra. She slides the straps over her arms and lets the garment fall to the floor, his hands immediately going to her breasts, kneading the soft flesh and plucking harshly at her nipples until they’re stiff and sensitive. She arches into him, small keening moans leaving her.

“I could make you cum just like this couldn’t I, doll?” He dips his head down to trail his mouth over her collarbones down to her breasts. His mouth sealing over one hardened bud as his hand continues to pinch and roll the other. She leans back against the wall, her hands going to the back of his head, cradling him to her as her eyes roll back in pleasure.

“Can we not test that theory today, Captain?” He lets her nipple go with a lewd pop at his title, eyes dark with desire as he looks into her eyes. She leans forward and noses sweetly at the underside of his jaw, her hands drifting down his torso. She knows he can’t deny her when she’s sweet with him, “Please, baby, I need you. I need your cock. I want to cum on-,”

And she’s suddenly being carried toward the bed, argument forgotten for the moment.     


	4. Smile

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!

Steve procrastinated officially meeting Mary for two weeks. He didn't count the rushed encounter in the debrief room as having officially met. Besides he's the captain he should make sure Mary was settling into her new position okay. At least that's what he tells himself. But Steve still didn't go see her, even if he saw her come into work every day where she would smile and wave at him.

It was Bucky who has spurred him into action. He casually mentioned at breakfast one morning that he visited her nearly daily.

"Why?" Steve had asked, trying not to feel jealous or think about how charming Bucky used to be back in the day, still is today despite everything.

"She's nice. And funny. And she annoys the hell outta Stark," Bucky had said frowning into his bowl of cereal. "Why does everything have to be loaded with sugar in this century Steve?"

And so now Steve finds himself roaming through the Hangar and trying to look like he isn't looking for anyone in particular. He's very aware that he's failing at it. He hears sudden laughter like small bells ringing and makes a beeline in the direction of the sound, heart in his throat.

He walks around one of the jets to find Mary standing there with none other than Stark. She's covered in oil again and a wrench dangles from her hand. "Didn't you hire me so you don't have to constantly oversee basic operations?"

"Old habits die hard, sweetheart," he glances at Steve standing politely a few feet away. "Speaking of old..." Tony smirks and bounces on his toes as Mary turns and Steve looks flustered.

"Captain Rogers! To what do I and the ever humble Mr. Stark owe the pleasure?" Tony rolls his eyes at her grandiose tone. Steve wishes Tony would spontaneously find somewhere else to be but he knows he isn’t going anywhere, not after the brutal teasing he had been subjected to the past two weeks by the team after the debrief fiasco.

“Ma’am. Stark. Just wanted to see how you were settling in.”

She smiles and whacks Tony with the wrench, “Quite well, thanks. Your friend Bucky has been showing me the ropes around here. Him and Wanda. Tony just harasses me.” She pauses and frowns and folds one arm over her chest while bringing the wrench up to tap lightly at her chin, “Maybe you could get rid of him for me?”

“Leave her alone, Tony,” he says, automatically and exhaustedly.

She laughs again and Tony rolls his eyes for probably the hundredth time that day, “The dinosaur just wants to get you alone.”

Steve starts to protest, turning red but she laughs and gives Tony a light shove, “You leave him alone and me too. I got things to do.”

“You were drawing when I got here!”

“And everything’s in order isn’t it? No missions today are there? Everything ready to go if something happens?”

“Fine, but don’t get in the habit,” and with that Tony turns on his heal and leaves.

Steve hesitates, unsure what to do. “Well Captain? Does it look like I’m settled?”

He winces, “Yes, ma’am. And please, call me Steve.”

“I’ll call you Steve if you call me Mary,” she says cheekily, swinging the wrench in her hand, mock threateningly.

“Mary,” he says and she beams.

“Oh good you catch on fast. Wanna see my drawings Steve? Bucky and Wanda tell me they’re quite good. Tony just tells me to get back to work.” He nods and she gives a wicked smile before scrambling up onto the wing of the jet. “Coming?”

She gives him a hand up even though both of them know he doesn’t need it. He settles next to her on the wing and can’t think of any other thing he’s supposed to be doing even though he knows that there is. The first picture Mary hands him is of Steve and Bucky out on a run. It’s excellent and Steve is shocked for a second, not sure what he was expecting to see but definitely not a rendition of himself.

“I showed Bucky and he said to give it to you when you finally came to visit,” she grins at him again and nudges his knee with her own. Steve didn’t know that she had been paying him any attention at all, let alone been drawing him.

Steve looks up just in time to catch Bucky and Sam duck behind another jet, Sam’s phone in his hand, the flash having just gone off. He hears their whispered, heated arguing and turns back to Mary. “It’s really good.”

She smiles shyly and ducks her head, “You can keep it.”

Steve pins it to his wall later that night.


	5. Complicated

“Are you-,”

“Fine,” Steve says and moves away from Mary’s touch before her hand can land on his shoulder. She swallows thickly as the door to their bathroom is slammed in her face. Mary remembers a time when Steve would come home from a mission and not be able to keep his hands off her, warm, large hands roaming _everywhere_. Plush, soft lips that used to attach to hers, or anywhere really, like she was air itself. Like he had missed her, like he loved her.  

Things had changed. And Steve wasn’t exactly notorious for great communication skills. She didn’t know what had changed and so she didn’t know how to fix it. Maybe it was the mission? Maybe it was Bucky. Maybe, it was her job, or her tattoos, or just _her_. Maybe it was _him_. But probably it’s her and she doesn’t know how to fix it. She wants to fix it. Fixing things is what she does but people aren’t like technology and aircraft and electronics. Those things are easy, people are hard.

Her hands drift down to her stomach, now starting to bump a little, to cradle it protectively. Steve still hasn’t realized. She hasn’t found the words to tell him and it’s not like he stayed in the same room long enough for her begin to anyways. And, she thinks bitterly, if he would just _touch_ her, he would know. He knew her body better than she did sometimes.

The bathroom door opens and Mary jumps a foot in the air, startled from her thoughts. He looked as if he might say something but then his face goes hard again as he takes in her skittish form. “Steve-,”

“I’m going to bed.”

“ _Stevie_ -,” she starts to beg.

“Mary-,”

“Please, baby, please, talk to me.” He doesn’t look at her, jaw clenching and unclenching. “Please Stevie, please. I miss you-,”

His head whips to the side to stare right at her and she cuts off immediately. “Don’t do that. You don’t _get_ to do that. Not when you spend every second of every day with-,”

He snaps his mouth shut and turns to go but Mary grabs his arm. “Stop bottling things up.”

It’s quiet for a few seconds when he suddenly spins back around and crashes his mouth to hers, devouring her in desperate, heated kisses, all tongues and teeth and pent up anger and frustration. He gropes at her roughly, one hand going to knead her breasts harshly while the other pops the button on her jeans, ripping it in fact, and sending it flying as he presses her backwards where her knees buckle as she slams into a nightstand. Only his arm going around her keeps her upright.

A cry of pain leaves her but he just keeps kissing her and god, she want to keep going as he shoves one hand down the front of her now ruined jeans but…

“Steve…muh, Steve, stop. Stop.” For half a second she’s afraid he won’t but this is _Steve_ and so of course he does, pulling back completely, taking his hands from her, a full stop.

“This is what I’m talking about! You don’t touch me. You cringe away when _I_ touch _you_. You make sure you’re with anyone else but me most of the time. If you are with me you make sure there’s someone else in the room. You go to Bucky, _my best friend_ , when you need comfort-,”

“I’m pregnant,” she blurts out. “I’m pregnant and before you can ask, you fucking asshole, yes it’s yours.”

Steve just stares at her in shock before opening his mouth when she cuts him off. “‘Well how do you know it’s mine, Mary?’” she suddenly imitates his voice. “Well Steve,” she answers herself, “I’m in love with you which apparently makes me an idiot. And oh yeah, _you’re the only person I’ve fucked in the last year_!”

Steve reaches out to her but she bats him away, “But maybe you’d prefer to believe what the tabloids says about me? Because I don’t fit America’s picture of what Captain America’s girl should look like, act like? Believe the stories about how I’m having sex with everyone on the team?”

“Mary-,” he starts sharply. How could she think-

“Or maybe it’s just Bucky that bothers you,” she continues viciously, everything she hadn’t said for months spilling out. “We’re friends. And he’s a protective guy anyways and since he’s known about the baby he hasn’t left me alone because he’s terrified something is going to happen to me or _your goddamn baby_. He’s been making sure _your_ child stays safe-,”

“Bucky knows about the baby?” he asks stupidly. Of course Bucky knew. She tells Bucky everything. Steve is glad that someone had known, has been protecting her while he’s been an ass. She misinterprets his question as incredulity however.

“Oh, my god. Oh. My. God.” She seems to have lost all her anger and slumps down onto the bed, arms going around her middle, head bent over her knees. “Just go.”

“Mary-,”

“ _Go_!” Her voice cracks horribly.

He kneels in front of her and puts his hands on her thighs. “No,” he says quietly. “I won’t leave you again.”   


	6. Confused

“Has he asked you out yet?”

Mary snorts and takes a sip from her smoothie. “No. And he won’t. Did I tell you the PR Team told me not to stand so close to him at any upcoming events? Or any events at all?”

Wanda frowns and sits down next to Mary on the catwalk above the gym. She imitates Mary’s pose by putting her legs through the bars and dangling them over the edge. Below in the gym Steve, Bucky, and Sam are sparring. “I don’t know if you’ve realized this about Steve yet but he does what he pleases no matter who is telling him to stop.”

Mary watches the boys spar for a moment before turning to Wanda, “Well he’s oblivious besides.”

“Maybe if you stopped going out with so many others,” she suggests.

“Mm, I’m not one to sit around and pine,” Mary says as she sets down her smoothie and grabs her water bottle. She unscrews the lid and pushes her arm through the bars, waiting. “Oh, just a little further to the left Barnes…”

Wanda rolls her eyes. “You must realize he is not from this…century? Yes, he is not from this century. Things were done differently then.”

“Oh, I know…” She pulls the bottle back as the boys move in the opposite direction. “If I’m honest I feel a little guilty. He’s America’s golden boy. I’d ruin his rep.”

“That is an easy excuse.” She says and picks up Mary’s smoothie to try. “And, again, I do not believe that Steve cares about his ‘rep’.” She puts air quotes around the word ‘rep’ as she makes a face at the taste of the smoothie. “How is it that none of you know what flavors go together?”

The boys move back toward them again, muscles rippling, bodies dripping with sweat. Mary shrugs then says, “Well somebody’s gotta look out for it for him then. Goddamn that much muscle on one person should be illegal.” She sticks the bottle back through the bars, “C’mon, c’mon, c’mon! Yes!” And with that she turns the bottle upside down and lets the entirety of its contents rain down on Bucky.

“Hey!”

Mary laughs and jumps up, “You boys looked a little hot. Thought I’d help out!”

Steve frowns at Bucky as he shakes out his wet hair then shouts up, “I’ll get you back for that, Mare!”

Mary giggles and pulls Wanda up by the arm, “What did you need from me anyways?”

“Vis and I wanted to know if you want to help decorate for Christmas.” Wanda says and Mary gives a squeal.

“Yeah! I’ll give you a hand, what with my artist’s eye and everything.” Wanda smiles and pulls her along.

Meanwhile Steve watches this girls laugh their way out of the room from below before turning to Bucky, “Mare, huh? You guys have something going on?”

Bucky looks at Steve as though he’s crazy, “No?” Mary reminds him a lot of his rambunctious sisters, what memory he has of them.

“I just thought-,”

“’Cause I use her nickname?”

Steve stands there for a second dumbstruck before Sam bursts out laughing, “Man, have you got it _bad_.”

Bucky cracks a smile at that and nods in agreement.


	7. Fashion

“We were thinking you could cover the tattoos up for public appearances.” The woman with the short, blonde bob says to Mary. The tattoos, Mary thinks, are on her back as well as one on her upper right thigh. How often will people really see them? “And we’ll get you a good hairstylist….and a new wardrobe. What designer do you prefer?”

Mary, for the first time in a very long time, feels self-conscious. She looks down at her ripped jeans and scuffed boots, at her paint splattered thrift shop t-shirt and her fake silver necklace. “I…uh,” she coughs. “I don’t have the money for any of that.”

The gaggle of woman all laugh together before the blonde bob gives her a pitying look, “Oh honey, we know. Mr. Stark is taking care of this.”

Mary’s cheeks flush and she doesn’t say anything. Normally she would fight these women tooth and nail, give them lip like they’ve never got but….obviously she wouldn’t be here if Steve hadn’t thought that she needed to change. And _that_ she is still trying to process, because she thought he liked her the way she was. And she isn’t about to change everything about herself for a man, not even Captain America. So, she’ll sit here and then go tell Steve what an asshole he really is. Because these women, no matter how condescending, were just doing their jobs.  

“So, the tattoos-,”

“Aren’t visible. And Steve likes them besides.” She doesn’t know why she says this. She had clearly been misled about what Steve did and did not like. Mary grinds her teeth and fights to urge to flee.

“Well honey-,” Mary wishes the woman would stop calling her honey. “-the things we want you to wear to events and galas and things are open backed as you have the shape for those. Plus when we cut your hair-,”

Mary’s hands jump to her hair, long and loosely curly. It’s down to just above her hips now and she only ever got it cut to keep it healthy, never taking any length off. “No.” Then, “How short?”

The woman pretends to think on it even though Mary knows she already has an idea, “To your shoulders.”

Mary stares at the women, mouth hanging open before she asks to see some of the pictures of sample clothing that she had refused to look at earlier. Mary gawks at the pictures before saying, “You’re trying to make me look like Peggy.”

Blonde bob rolls her eyes, “Well it’s who everyone will be comparing you to. That’s the sort of woman the nation expects Captain America to be with.”

“I don’t give a shit what the nation expects!” She says hotly before reigning herself in. The real question was is this Steve’s idea or the women’s? “I’m not Peggy Carter and I never will be. We’re two different people you can’t-,”

Just then the door to the conference room is thrown open and Steve strides in. Mary jumps up ready to scream to the high heavens what an ass he is. How dare he try to turn her into Peggy? Mary admired Peggy, thought her a great woman, and had even met her a few times. But she is _not_ her.  

“Captain Rogers-,”

“Just what do you think you’re doing?” He takes in the designs laying out on the table, grabs the woman’s notes and scans them, eyes wide, before throwing them back down.

“Mr. Stark has hired us to monitor the appearance of team members, that includes team members…partners,” she sounds pained, admitting that that is indeed what Mary is. “Ms. Gray-,”

“Ms. Gray doesn’t need a stylist. And she certainly doesn’t need to be turned into-,”

“Polls show-,”

Steve puts on his Captain America face then and says, “You’ll not bother Mary again. Is that clear?” He doesn’t give them a chance to answer before he takes Mary’s hand and pulls her out of the room.

In the corridor outside the conference room Steve kisses her slow and sweet and gentle, and she knows he didn’t know about the stylists or their agenda. It was of their own accord and so she kisses him back as lovingly as she can.

“I like you just the way you are. You know that don’t you?”

She does.


	8. Baby Shower

“Are you hoping for a boy or a girl?” Nat asks as she runs her hands over Mary’s stomach.

Mary shrugs, “I’m not concerned. Steve wants a girl.”

“You have to have a preference,” Nat dead-pans.

Mary smiles, “What does Aunt Nat want them to be?”

“Healthy,” Nat says automatically and sincerely.

“See now you’re getting it!” She says as Bucky takes her elbow. Bucky has been her shadow since he found out about the pregnancy, always close by and worried, and today is no different. “What?”

He just tugs her arm in response, scanning the room. They’re in the ‘entertaining room’ as Tony calls it in the middle of her baby shower. “Bucky-,” Natasha starts but Bucky just pulls Mary away. Sometimes Bucky got feelings about things. Most times they were right and so Mary never questions him.

“Where’s Steve?”

He frowns at her, “You need to sit down. You’ve been on your feet for too long you know what Bruce said-,” And sometimes it was just Bucky being a mother hen.

“Fine, I wanna sit with Steve,” her eyes unexpectedly start to water and she curses the stupid pregnancy hormones. Her whole body is suddenly achy and tired and all she wants is for Steve to hold her against his chest, gentle and soft. 

“Yeah, okay Mare,” Bucky says, used to the mood swings. As he wasn’t cleared for missions at the moment, after an incident on the last one, he spends the most time with the grounded girl.

Bucky settles her on a sofa away from the crowd and departs once more to find Steve. It only takes a few minutes but Mary is sure her heart is about to burst from the loneliness when Steve arrives sans Bucky.

“Hey,” he says as he takes a seat, “You okay?”

“Want you to hold me,” she says stubbornly, looking like a grumpy kitten.

With a laugh he puts one arm behind her back and the other under her knees before carefully lifting her into his lap. “How are you feeling?”

“Bucky’s being overprotective again and I missed you,” she murmurs, trying not to smear her makeup onto Steve’s clean button-up even though she knows he wouldn’t mind.  

Steve cradles her tighter to his chest before taking his hand from under her knees to run over her swollen stomach. “Bucky is just being Bucky. He’s always been a worried mother type. And I’m here now.” Steve’s gentle fingers and voice soothe the baby which has been kicking Mary’s kidneys all night. He frowns, “She always does that. I only feel the kicks for a second before they stop.”

Mary puts her hand over his as he continues to stroke small circles there. “It’s a _good_ thing. The kicks hurt. They’re just anxious when you aren’t around.” She kisses his cheek, “They miss you like I do.”

“ _She_ ,” he says, convinced that their child will be a girl.

“But we don’t know, Rogers,” she says and Steve can tell that she’s in the sort of vulnerable pregnancy mood that if he argues she’ll cry and so he just kisses her hair.

“I’m sorry they kick you and I’m sorry that I can’t always be around to make them stop,” he says as she shifts in his lap and he tries not to feel the sensation everywhere. She does it again and he knows she’s teasing him just a bit.

When he starts to say something she laughs and says, “I’m tired boss can we blow this popsicle stand?”

“Captain,” he corrects and she just smiles before wiggling her ass even harder into his crotch. The mood swings, as it were, included insatiable horny ones which seemed to be what she’s moving toward now. Living with a pregnant person is a never-ending rollercoaster.

“Captain,” she coos, reaching up to trail her fingers along his jaw, voice low and sultry.

He’s half-hard now and not opposed to leaving the party early so he says, “Wanna leave?”

“Will you rub my feet later?”

He pauses, struck dumb, “What?”

“Will you?” Her smile wobbles just a bit. Pregnancy brain, he figures.  

“Yeah.”

She starts to climb off his lap, “Then let’s go.” Then again, maybe she was playing him like a fiddle.


	9. Date

“Who is he?” Steve growls, looking out the front window as Mary gets into a sleek car with an unknown man. Steve knew she went on a lot of dates but he usually didn’t have to _see_ her dates or see what Mary looked like when she went on one.

And it’s clear to Steve, who knows Mary well, that _this_ man doesn’t know her at all. Mary hates clubs and that’s clearly where they’re heading. Her dress is black and short and very, very tight, leaving little to the imagination. It’s so short he can see the bottom of the tattoo on her thigh. Nat had braided her hair intricately on top of her head which is why she’s being picked up at the compound instead of her apartment. But her _heels_ and those _legs_ and that _ass_ … He shakes himself. “Who?” he asks again when no one answers.

“His name is Matt and he’s very nice, Steve.” Nat says, sternly but with a hint of a knowing smile.

Bucky grunts, “Debatable.”

“I thought he was great,” Sam chimes in, “Had a lot to say about this upcoming football season.”

“Mary hates sports,” Steve answers as the car pulls away.

Natasha pats his shoulder sympathetically and Steve shrugs her off. All three of them share knowing looks as Steve leaves the room deciding on a run.

 

~

 

Several hours later, when Steve is just getting out of the shower still pissed off and jealous, his phone is ringing. He picks it up just as it stops ringing and his heart jumps to see three missed calls from Mary. She had changed her contact in his phone to read ‘My Mare’ with three red hearts next to it after she discovered that he used everyone’s proper names. She had also changed Bucky’s name to ‘Buckaroo’.

He calls her back immediately. She never called him, let alone three times in a row and she wasn’t trained in self-defense and Matt had looked like a big guy and-

“Steve?”

“Mary? I was in the shower and-,”

“Can you come pick me up?” Her voice is small, something he’s never heard from her before. “I know its late and everything but I don’t have any money and-,” she cuts off and the sound of loud music fills the phone as he hears a male voice say, ‘Hey, baby, you lookin’ for a good time tonight?’ Steve clenches the phone so hard that it groans in his hand.

“Fuck off,” her voice comes back, loud and mean, even as they start catcalling her. “Please Stevie? I’ll do anything. I didn’t know who else to call and I hate to admit this but I’m sorta scared.”

Steve has been dressing as quickly as possible, “Text me your location. I’m on my way now.” He can’t believe she thought she had to beg him. He’d come to her even if she wasn’t trapped and surrounded by perverts.  

When Steve gets to the club Mary is standing in her bare feet in the parking lot, her heels dangling from her fingers. She’s shivering from the chill autumn air, the small dress doing little to protect her. Steve slows and stops the motorcycle as Mary darts to his side and wraps her arms around him. “Thank you so much,” she murmurs in his ear before she kisses his cheek.

He’s red when she pulls back before he remembers her clothes and scrambles off the bike to reach into the saddle bag. She jerks up a pair of his sweatpants he hands her and then rolls up her dress to make an undershirt before slipping on a hoodie and his brown leather jacket. “Shoes?”

He pulls out her Nikes and then notices her tears. “What happened?”

Mary shakes her head, “He was an asshole. Left me here when I didn’t want to blow him in the fucking parking lot. We were leaving early because I finally wore him down into leaving because-,”

“-you hate clubs.”

She looks shocked that Steve remembered, “Right because I don’t like clubs.” Mary shoves the shoes on and then looks at Steve, “Everyone always assumes that I like them because I go out a lot. I never said I go to clubs! And then he thought I would blow him because he let me leave! Some gentleman right? And then after that of course I’m a woman unattended and so every dick in a ten mile radius thinks they can hit on me or grab my ass or-,” she stops and looks up at Steve, patient and very slowly getting more and more pissed off. Steve, she thinks, would never _make_ her go to a club even if it was his favorite thing to do. It isn’t but still. “Can you take me home now?”

Steve nods, “Of course.” But Steve can very rarely let things go so he asks, “Who grabbed you?” He doesn’t like to think that it might have been more than one person.

Mary lets the cloud of Steve’s rage roll over her, “I’m not tellin’. Now, c’mon. Please?” Mary pouts at him and is still shivering so he takes her home.

 

~

 

Steve walks her to her door of course, makes sure she gets in safe, and is about to leave when she turns and hugs him again. “There is no other person better suited to be Captain America than you. But I still like Steve Rogers, my friend, better. I have his number and he’ll always come rescue me from dark parking lots.”

He pats her back, “I will.”

She pulls back and trails her fingers along his jaw, not looking away from his eyes, “I’ll see ya tomorrow my dearest Steven.” Mary kisses the corner of his mouth and then she’s gone. But before he can make it back down to the street his phone buzzes with a text. ‘Thanks so much, Steve. You don’t know what it means to have found people you can rely on to always be in your corner.’ Steve decides to go back to that club and ask a question or two.


	10. Kick

Bucky lets out a strangled noise of panic, his hands hovering somewhere around Mary’s hips as she stands on a ladder. “ _Mary_ ,” he starts, “You are _pregnant_ , in case you’ve forgotten. You shouldn’t be on a ladder. If Steve sees you-,”

“ _Steve_ is on a mission. Now, hand me that wrench.” She looks over her shoulder at him finally looking away from the jet.

He does no such thing, only keeps his hands near her hips. “Who let you up here?” He growls, “I’ll need to speak with them.”

Mary rolls her eyes, “No one _let_ me up here.” She starts to climb down, Bucky’s anxiety making her nervous. This is precisely why Bucky shadowed her every move, she did things like climb ladders and work on planes while pregnant. Her stomach isn’t yet big enough to restrict her movement and so she’ll do what she damn well pleases while she can.

She steps off the last rung and Bucky sighs in relief. “You know what they told you. No strenuous activity or you’ll be put on bed rest. This already hasn’t been an easy pregnancy and-,”

“Bucky,” she reaches out and braces her hands on his arms. “I’m okay. Thank you for being a worry wort, even if it is annoying.”

He looks at the plane with anxiety, “If you come upstairs I’ll make you something to eat and we can watch a movie. Or…have you been sick today? Have you eaten today?”

She groans exasperatedly, “I’m _okay_.”  

“That doesn’t-,” Bucky cuts off as she gasps sharply. “ _Mary_?” He’s instantly panicking.

“Bucky! They kicked!” Bucky stares, not quite comprehending, his brain still caught in a web of anxiety.

“Kicked?”

“Kicked!” She squeals and rubs her hands over her growing belly. “Oh I was so worried they never would.” Her hands still as she feels it again. “They said it was normal but everything else has been so scary that I-,”

She makes grabby hands at Bucky suddenly who has been staring at her stomach in amazement. “Gimme your hands! I wish Stevie were here for this.” When he doesn’t move she falters, “Hey, sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. I’m okay and so is the baby. I want you to feel though.”

Bucky shakes his head, “I shouldn’t.”

She frowns, “Y’know you’re the only person who hasn’t felt my belly? Why is that? Everyone else doesn’t even ask, they just do it.”

He shrugs, “Well _I_ don’t like being grabbed so I figure I shouldn’t do it to other people.”

“That’s not the reason, Barnes.” She says sternly.

He stares at her stomach, “Are they still going?”

“Yes, so give me your hands before they stop,” she says. He sighs and puts his hands in hers, lets her guide them to her swollen belly. She smiles at his awestruck expression and keeps her fingers looped lightly around his wrists, metal and flesh.

“-Mare? Mary? Wanda said you and Bucky were down here. We’re leaving the jet on the tarmac for the night-,” Steve stops when he sees Bucky and Mary together. A surge of jealousy races through him before he attempts to stomp it out.

“Stevie! Come here, come here!” She exclaims as Bucky takes his hands back and slinks away a few feet. “They kicked!” And now the scene in front of him makes sense and the jealousy goes away entirely.

He strides forward, ripping off the gloves of the suit before kneeling down in front of her. Gently he puts his hands on either side of her stomach and delights in the tiny sensations before they abruptly stop. He frowns, “She stopped?”

“They must feel settled. Now that you’re home.” Mary smiles, “Bucky promised me dinner if I got off the ladder and so I’m holding him to that.” She winks at him and then glances at Bucky, “I’ll make him get you some too.”

Steve jolts to his feet, “You were on a _ladder_?”

She rolls her eyes as the baby starts to kick again and takes his hands to press there quickly. “Bucky was here to save me.”


	11. Talk

“You’ll be fine, Stevie,” Mary murmurs softly, straightening the collar of his shirt. He swallows thickly and glances himself in the mirror behind her.

His voice comes out higher than usual as he says, “I know.” He curses himself as Mary gives a small laugh.

Mary wraps her arms around him and squeezes tightly, “They’ll _love_ you Steve, I _promise_.” When he doesn’t answer however and just hangs onto her for a moment longer she says, “I mean c’mon Captain. How could they not? You’re the perfect gentleman and so polite and gentle and you like art so you’ll get along great with my old man. All you gotta do is sit there and say something nice about any artist you can think of and you’ll have-,”

“I’m just worried they won’t like _me_.”

She pulls away, worry creasing her brow, “What do you mean?”

He swallows and says, “Everyone already has some idea of what I’m like. What if they like Cap and they don’t like me?”

“Stevie…” she whispers, trailing her fingers along his jaw as he avoids her eyes. “Hey, c’mon now…when I call home I don’t tell them about Cap do I? No. I tell them about you. _That’s_ the you they know. Not what they see on the news. Plus if there’s one thing you should know about my parents it’s that they’re complete hippies and disregard everything the news says anyways.”

He perks up a little at that, “Really?”

“Yeah, and anyways since when have you given a damn what other people think?”

A kiss is pressed to her forehead as he murmurs, “I don’t but these people are important. They are your parents after all.”

“That’s old fashioned thinking,” she says against the corner of his mouth. “I like you, that’s all that matters.” Steve growls against her as she presses closer and kisses him fully on the mouth, attempting to wiggle her tongue into his mouth.

He pulls away from her with a gasp, “Well you know me. Old soul, y’know? And if you don’t get your damn hand out of my pants we’re going to be late _and_ look suspect.”

A laugh bursts out of her as she takes her hands away from him, “My, my Stevie. I’ll remember exactly where you _don’t_ want my hands later.” And before he can catch her she whirls away, a giggle still on her lips.

 

~

 

“Quit jittering your leg Steven,” she hisses at him.

“Sorry,” he says back and grips the flowers he’s holding tighter. The elevator stops and his breath stalls in his throat. How on earth people did this on a regular basis he’ll never fucking know.

Mary grabs his hand and strokes her thumb over the back of his hand before leading him to the correct apartment door, “Ready?”

He can only nod. And pray.

The door opens revealing two people in paint speckled clothes and a small, yippy dog, “Mary!” They pull their daughter in for a hug before turning to Steve, “And Steve Rogers! Haven’t we heard quite a lot about you!” Her mother exclaims before pulling him into a hug as well. He relaxes instantly.

“Ma’am,” he greets, handing over the flowers as Mary’s father claps him on the back. Mary just smiles and he knows everything is going to be okay.

 

~

 

Later that night after dinner and then drinks with her father and complimenting her mother’s art Steve is finally allowed to slip away with Mary to her childhood bedroom. Blissfully _Captain America_ had not been mentioned all evening. “Wow,” he says as he watches the sun set out the large window of the loft apartment. “It’s almost better than the tower.”

She rolls her eyes, pulling out an old sketch book and some pencils from her desk, “It _is_ better than the tower. And it’s definitely better than the compound.”

“I thought you loved the compound?”

“I do but I miss the city.” She sighs and sits on the floor in the fading sunlight, “C’mere, I wanna get you in this light.” Steve does as requested, sitting across from her, and for a while it’s quiet as he thinks about New York and Mary and the compound. “Good thinkin’ face, pal, it’s gonna look great when I get done.”

He laughs, “Since when do you say ‘pal’?”

“Since I hang out with you and Buck-o,” she glances up at him before putting pencil to paper again. His eyes are soft as she says, “You’re lucky I don’t use more 40’s slang the way Bucky’s been talking lately. It’s all ‘flip your wig’ this and ‘golly’ that.”

Steve chuckles, “He’s remembering stuff you gotta give him some room to adjust.”

She rolls her eyes, “I know. I think it’s cute but it’s starting to rub off on me.”

“Cute huh?”

The pencil scratches across the paper and she grins, “Yeah but you’re cuter.”

“That so?”

“Mmm.” The sun illuminates her perfectly as it dips below the lip of a rooftop, making Steve wish he had a sketch pad of his own.

Steve’s mouth moves of its own accord as he says, “We could live in the city. Me and you. We don’t have to live at the compound.”

She looks up in surprise and shakes her head, “Are you asking me to move in with you?”

He swallows thickly and looks away for a second, “Yeah a little.”

“You can’t. Maybe I’ll think about moving in with you at the compound but that’s where you gotta be and we both know it,” She doesn’t look up as she says it, the light fading entirely. “I don’t wanna move away from the compound anyways.”

“Why not?”

“It’s where you are,” she smiles and holds out her sketch book. He admires her work for a minute while he waits for the blush to fade from his cheeks.

She starts to stand when it happens, “I love you.” It slips through his lips, easy and simple as that. Mary has always had a way of taking him out of his own head, of forcing him to stop thinking about every little thing and this, here, now is evidence of that.

A giggle leaves her as she bends down and presses her mouth to his temple, “Ditto.”

“ _Ditto_?” He pulls her into his lap, “I just said…and you… _ditto_?”

She loops her arms around his neck and kisses him gently, “I love you too.” His hands slip inside her shirt and run up her back, “I wanna hear you say it again.”

“I love you, Mary.”

She laughs again, happily and wildly, “I love you, Stevie.” Her fingers trail down his shirt, “Now…what did you say about my hands earlier?”

He growls low and kisses her, smiling all the way.


	12. Seven

Mary waddles now and Steve thinks it’s adorable. Although he hates the fact that she’s in pain. The baby never stops kicking her and, apparently, it’s stronger than a usual baby kick. Bruce surmises for them that it’s most likely due to a bit of the serum, not much, but enough.

And so at seven months pregnant not only is she huge and in pain but she’s also clingy and needy and attaches to anyone that happens to be near. Usually it’s Bucky but sometimes its Wanda or Nat or Tony or Sam or even Scott when he stops by. So, that’s how Steve finds her when he gets done with some paper work, teary-eyed and wrapped in a blanket, smashed between Tony and Wanda. Tony has his arm around her back and Wanda holds her hand while her other hand massages her large belly. She sniffles loudly and continues to comb her fingers through Bucky’s hair who sits in front of her and pretends to be annoyed. He’s just the right height that she can reach his head without her baby bump getting in the way.

Steve has never seen three people look so relieved as they do then when he walks into the room. Sam pats him on the back as he walks by, “She’s been damn near inconsolable for the past hour.”

“She’s pregnant,” he says defensively. “I’d like to see you-,”

Sam waves him off with a smile, “I know she’s in pain. I’m sayin’ that she only really wants to be around you. The rest of us are poor substitutes.” He gestures to the front of his shirt which is damp with tears, “Evidence of my shift. You know I love that girl. I’m just sayin’ maybe you should-,”

“I know, Sam. If you’d shut up I could go to her.”

He just laughs and walks ahead of Steve into the room, “Hey Sunshine look who it is.”

“Steve!” she grins and attempts to move but the three around her hold her down.

“No moving!” All three of them hiss which prompts fresh tears.

Steve chuckles and moves toward her, “I hear I’m needed?”

Mary holds her hands out, as Bucky moves away from her legs, intending for Steve to help her to her feet but he just scoops her up off the couch. “Steve! I’m too heavy-,”

He just gives her an exasperated look, “I can lift cars two at a time, you aren’t too heavy.” Mary just huffs and squirms closer to his chest.

“Fine,” she grumbles, already more at ease as the baby calms down. “Oh Stevie please tell me you aren’t leaving me tonight.”

His heart pangs as he makes it to their apartment. “No, I won’t.” Once in their bedroom he lies her on the bed and attempts to move away so he can run her a bath but fingers catch at his sleeve. Teary eyes meet his.

“I’m sorry! I know I’m all big and gross and emotional but I really, really, really need you to be Steve right now and cuddle me. Even if it’s hard and I’m too fat to do it properly.” Mary presses a hand to either side of his face, stroking his clean-shaven face. “ _Please_?”

Steve encourages Mary over a bit before sitting and pulling her into his side, tucking her under his arm. “I’m not going anywhere, okay? I was going to run you a bath,” he says before pressing a kiss to her hair. “But I can stay right here too.” She cuddles into his chest and lets out a noise of contentment.

For a second it’s calm and silent until, “Feels so good, Steve. They stop kicking. No one else can get them to stop. Only you and sometimes Buck-Buck.”

Steve chuckles against her, “Bucky can get them to stop?’

“Only when I can convince him to sing,” she says, opening her eyes and glancing up at him. “But that isn’t often.”

He leans down to kiss her with a smile on his face, “I’m glad Bucky brings you some relief.” Mary watches as Steve reaches down to stroke her stomach, the baby giving a tiny little tap against his hand. “I love when she does that.”

“Why are you so sure it’s a girl?”

Steve glances up, trying to gauge if he’s upset her or not. When she doesn’t seem ready to burst into tears he moves in front of her to kneel between her legs. She pulls up her shirt before his hands land on her skin, rubbing soothing circles there. “I…just know. I have a feeling.” Mary bites her lip and looks away. “What?” He grins, “You finally have an opinion on the gender of our child?”

She bats his hands away from her stomach while giving him a disgusted look before she cracks and grins a little, “Well…I think you might be right.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

A soft kiss is pressed to her stomach before he murmurs, “How did I get so lucky?” He meets her eyes, “You’ve given me everything I thought I could never have. I love you so much. Are you in pain right now? What can I do?”

“My back hurts and my kidneys and my ribs and it’s all thanks to _your_ daughter,” she huffs. “Goddamn serum,” she presses her hands over his still on her stomach as the baby kicks again lightly. “She’s got her father’s fighting spirit that’s for sure.”

“Are you sure it isn’t your fighting spirit?” He laughs at the dirty look she gives him.

Keeping their hands clasped together he leans in to kiss her swollen stomach again, “Tell me how I can make you feel better.”

She squirms underneath him a little and says quietly, “Bath?”

“Bath huh?”

“Shut up, Rogers,” she says affectionately before reaching up to poke his cheek. “And then, if you would be so kind, I would love a massage. And also some ice cream. Also, I would like you to sleep in with me in the morning because as soon as you get up I’m punished for it and-,”

A kiss quiets her instantly, “It’s the least I can do.”

“Steve?”

“What?”

There are tears in her eyes again as she says, “I’m sorry for crying again.”

He panics a little as he always does when he sees her in distress, “What is it?”

“My boobs hurt.”

It’s silent for a beat and then they both burst out in laughter before Mary smacks his arm, “I’m serious!” It only makes him laugh harder, kiss her better, and hold her tighter. His heart aches, he loves her so much it scares him.

“Don’t ever go away Mare.”

“I’m right here Captain.” And he takes solace in that fact.


	13. Team

Mary glares at herself in the mirror along the wall of the gym. The shorts she’s wearing are Natasha’s and don’t fit right. The top is Wanda’s and it also doesn’t fit right. So, she had refused to wear proper exercise shoes, opting for her own high top converse instead. Steve wasn’t too far away lacing up his own shoes and fuming.

Needless to say he’s pissed at her. And so this is her punishment. Fucking exercise. “You really should change your shoes.”

“No.”

He glowers at her through the mirror, “You know this is what it’s going to be like now? You join the team then I’m your Captain.”

She whirls and clenches her fists as she stalks closer to him, “Oh? So what, you can’t be both? I’m not your friend anymore?”

Steve’s stoic, serious face stays in place as she stops a few feet away and crosses her arms. “No,” he says coldly. Her heart lurches but she keeps her expression neutral even if she wants to burst out in tears.

“Fine.”

The next four hours are grueling, Steve relentless in his training her. But she refuses to heed, refuses to say it’s too much, refuses to say he’s hurting her in more ways than one. It’s only when Bucky walks in the gym to find Mary on the floor, eyes half lidded and droopy, her body sweat slicked and weak that they stop. He helps her up as Steve packs up his bag. “Go lie down okay?” She nods, eyes a bit unfocused and dazed.

When she’s gone Bucky turns on Steve, “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

Steve shrugs and shoulders his bag, “If she wants to be a part of the team then she has to be able to keep up.”

“She’s not a super soldier Steve! She isn’t even used to training at all you can’t just throw her into it like that. I doubt she’ll be able to move properly for a week.”

Steve does feel a bit bad about that but maybe if it convinces her to stay away from the team it’ll be worth it. “That’s what it’s like,” he says.

The statement is met with silence and a look that says Bucky doesn’t believe him for a second, “What are you really afraid of?” Steve only storms away.

 

~

 

The coming weeks are torturous. Mary’s body hurts so bad that she cries herself to sleep at night, the pain nearly unbearable. But every morning she gets up and meets Steve in the gym and refuses to back down. Steve also refuses to back down and treats her as though she’s any other person in the world. It’s like he doesn’t even care that he’s lost one of his best friends.

On week four Mary has to stop eating, the stress of training making it virtually impossible for her to keep any food down. Natasha notices and that’s when everything comes to a head. She’s already light headed and weak but when the other woman comes to the gym and starts to berate Steve, his eyes wide and surprised, that’s when she passes out.

Steve only barely catches her before she hits the floor, head lolling to one side. Natasha is there in a second pushing Steve’s hands away and checking over the other girl before she orders Steve to carry her to the med bay.

 

~

 

Mary wakes up to an IV in her arm and a sharp pain in her head. “What the hell?” she mutters, beginning to tug on the tubes running into her body, ready to rip the thing out.

“Don’t do that.” She freezes upon hearing the voice, slowly turning her head to meet the red-rimmed eyes of Steve Rogers.

Her eyes harden and she pulls harder, if only to irritate the man, “Why do you care?”

Steve sighs, “You’re going to hurt yourself.”

“You’ve already done that,” she snarls, letting the tubes fall from her hand, turning her head away from him.

“Mary,” he murmurs, “Why didn’t you tell me you were hurting?”

She sits up and whips around, “What? You couldn’t tell?” When Steve doesn’t say anything, only lowers his eyes to the ground she continues, “Training didn’t hurt nearly as much as you tossing me away did. I thought we were friends, I thought you cared about me.”

“Mary-,”

“No! You don’t get to do that! Leave me alone. Where’s Wanda? Where’s Nat? Where’s Bucky? Why aren’t the people who care about me here?”

She hates herself for lashing out and hates herself even more for feeling her gut twist at Steve’s tortured expression. “I do care about you Mare. That’s why I…”

“Why you _what_?” Her chest gives an ache that has nothing to do with the training or fainting.

“It’s why I pushed you so hard. I hoped…that you might give up, stay out of the field.”

Mary stares at him in disbelief, mouth hanging open, head pounding. “You don’t know me at all,” she whispers sadly, shaking her head. “If you cared about me you’d let me stand on my own. You’d know I _can_ stand on my own.”

Steve doesn’t say anything as all the anger leaves Mary, “You threw me away to keep me away. Maybe away from the field but away nonetheless.” She pauses and then breaks his heart even more, “Did I matter to you at all? Do you know what it was like to have you look me in the eyes and say that you weren’t my friend? It hurt. It _hurts_. Now please leave me alone.” Her voice cracks, “ _Please_ , go.”

And even though he’s tired of losing the people he loves he stands and walks away. All he wanted was for Mary to stay safe but he’s never been good at keeping those he loves safe.


End file.
